It has been two months since I’ve stopped using any steroid creams and frankly speaking, it wasn’t easy. I was angry, depressed, and stressed out.
Every time I felt depressed and hopeless, I have to find a way to reassure myself that, “I am a step nearer to being healthier and happier. So pls hang in there”. There were many times I just couldn’t help but break down in tears because I couldn’t withstand the amount of stress I am receiving. I believe that breaking down isn’t a sign of weakness but a way to get mentally stronger.
The redness of my skin has spread from my inner thighs to my inner calves, arms and knees. For the sake of sparing others from seeing such an undesirable sight, and for the sake of making my skin feel better outside, I’ve opted to wear long sleeves and long pants. Well that’s probably just an excuse to hide my inferiority but people who don’t know my condition are still gonna judge me no matter what. The skin on my neck especially feels very tight when it’s dry so I have to keep moisturising it whenever I have the chance to do so. My thighs are feeling better although the skin there feels and looks weird. But at least it doesn’t irritate me as bad as my arms and neck.
I am also shedding skin badly every time when I touch or rub or scratch my skin. I guess the amount of skin I have shed could have possibly reached around 500g for now? I don’t know when my skin will heal, but recently I’ve experienced so many pitfalls in my life that I think I gotta start finding ways to make myself think healthily and positively. I used to be such a positive person that it makes me much sadder to see myself in such a situation right now.
Hopefully the next post will sound more cheerful than this post! Cheers to a better version of me. Anticipating for that day to come.